When A Better Work-Life Balance Isn’t The Solution
Most of us have struggled with achieving work-life balance at some point in our careers. Whether it was because of long and unpredictable work hours, mindset issues, or some other reason, we know what it feels like to be stressed, drained, and demotivated. To lack the energy to be mentally present with our families, children, and friends. This inability to recharge can ultimately lead to burnout.
So work-life balance is undoubtedly important. So much so that many people spend years trying to achieve it by carving out more time for their families, hobbies, and social commitments. Or by experimenting with time management, productivity techniques, and even blackout hours when they aren’t allowed to check their work email or Slack. And for some professionals, this is exactly what the doctor ordered. But many still experience feelings of persistent stress, try as they may to get rid of them.
The problem with WLB
While the notion of work-life balance is important, it can also be problematic and lead people to waste a lot of time and energy pursuing solutions that won’t address their problems. Because “work-life balance” is a framing that often leads people to two conclusions that are incorrect.
The first one is that work is inherently stressful. The work-life balance framing implies that this is the case, which is why we need to balance it out with things that aren’t.
The second conclusion is that the solution to stress is to become better at time allocation. Because if we spend less time on the thing that’s stressful (work) and more time on the things that aren’t (friends, family, hobbies, etc), we’ll be happier and more energized, right?
Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
The anatomy of stress
The key to successful stress management lies in understanding what stress really is.
In the clinical context, stress is defined as the psychological strain we experience due to a change in our circumstances. This means that there is nothing inherently stressful about work. What we think of as feelings of stress are actually highly individual responses to certain stressors. Consequently, managing stress isn’t always about allocating less time to work.
In other words, if working long hours is one of your stressors, then you should absolutely try to allocate fewer hours to work. But if the true stressor is, say, something related to the culture or the communication style at your place of work, then working a few hours less per week or avoiding answering emails on the weekends might not make a huge difference in helping you avoid anxiety and burnout.
While this may sound discouraging, it’s in fact an opportunity. Because it means that you have more tools available to you than just tuning the time allocation between your work and life. You can find solutions for those feelings of stress in your career and turn your work into something that charges your batteries rather than drains them.
4 focus areas for overcoming your stress
The path toward a more sustainable and less stressful career starts with you. Rather than pursuing generic solutions (like working less or not replying to emails after work hours), there are 4 focus areas that can give you the insights you need to find the solutions that work for your unique situation.
Understand your stressors
If you’re not sure what your stressors are, start by identifying them. Whether they are related to work hours, job demands, work culture, or something else, it’s essential that you’re clear on what they are rather than act on pre-canned ideas about what’s good for you and your career. A key part of that process is to understand the intensity of responses each stressor produces. That will help you understand what you should focus on to improve your situation.
Manage your exposure
Once you have clarity on your stressors, you should reflect on how you can manage your exposure. Some people might be tempted to try avoiding their stressors, especially if they have led to severe responses, such as anxiety or burnout. In reality, avoidance is rarely a feasible approach. Instead, your goal should be to find a sustainable level of exposure. Honesty is key here. Many high performers have a tendency to dig in and “push through” their stress. Some take great pride in it, to the point where it becomes an important part of their identity and self-image. And while resilience is a good thing, consistently exceeding the limits of how much exposure we can cope with isn’t healthy.
Do the mindset work
Managing your exposure isn’t the only way to decrease your stress levels. You can also do it by improving the way you respond to your stressors. Our stress responses are highly individual. Their root causes are certain core beliefs that in turn are products of our core values, conditioning, and a wide range of professional experiences that have had a formative impact on us. Mindset work can be incredibly helpful and effective in breaking down those beliefs and changing the way you react when exposed to your stressors.
Make intentional career decisions
Taking action is often the hardest part of making a change. High performers often avoid making career changes that would decrease their stress levels because they believe it would require them to sacrifice something they’ve worked hard to achieve. This is where career plans can be very helpful. Our careers are about more than just managing stress. A good career plan should address your stressor levels in the context of your broader career goals and ambitions. Rather than sacrificing the things that are important to you in return for less stress, being more energized could propel you toward your goals faster!
Need help identifying your stressors?
Identifying our stressors can be more challenging than it sounds, especially for high performers who are used to pushing through and ignoring their stress responses in order to get the job done. If you need help getting started, we’ve created a free worksheet containing the 14 most common work-related stressors. So get it and see which ones apply to you!
If you need help managing your stress and putting yourself on the path to a more sustainable and successful career, book a free 30-minute call with us to explore how we can be of help!